Friday, 30 July 2010

make it go away

I am in pain. I don't get this everyday but when it arrives, oh boy it arrives in a fashion akin to driving an iron stake through my heart.

I first start to question why. But after grasping at straws I find that there really isn't a resolute answer. So why is it here to stay? I'm not good enough for anything or anyone, really. I'm coarse in more ways than one, indulge in too many vices and like being boozed. I guess it takes the pain away. I know. Sometimes I wish I was the dropped child and that my brother lived instead. I'm pathetic and feel I don't contribute good to any circumstances around me. Am I a people pleaser? Maybe I'm just a goofball who lives and breathes acceptance.

It's a heartache, nothing but a heartache
Hits you when it's too late, hits you when you're down
It's a fool's game, nothing but a fool's game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown...

I smile till my very teeth hurt. So sick of it. Go away. You make me feel and I don't wanna.